Wednesday, December 21, 2011

faith is doing something that doesn't make sense... unless there is a God!


our students dancing in Gulu

A lot of times when I think of "men and women of faith" I think of those that sold everything they owned and moved across the world after kissing their family goodbye, unsure if they would ever see them again.  And there have been a few times now when I have said goodbye to my family and ventured into the unknown of Africa... but this year I feel like the biggest step of faith that God is asking me to do is to stay in my own country for most of the year!  I have been desiring to do School of Dance Studies (SODS)since I did my first school with YWAM back in 2008... and by the time that I had finally laid it down when it seemed like that wasn't going to happen at the beginning of this year...that was the time the Lord spoke to me and said "okay, next year is the year that you are supposed to do it."  And honestly...I feel that out of the last 3 years...this is the worst possible time to do SODS.  I got to see God move and do so much in Uganda this year, and so much of me wants to be a part of what He is going to continue to do there in this next year.  But over and over the Lord just keeps confirming to me that He wants me to do SODS this next year.
So here it goes! I am holding my breath and taking a step of faith. I am trying to commit Uganda and SOC into the hands of God for these next 9 months as I go to Montana for further training and then I go on outreach.  Afterall...I know that it is nothing that I do in Uganda that makes any difference, but it is the Lord that is moving and working, and He has blessed me with the privelage to be able to partner with Him in His work there for the last 3 years. And this is year that I need to remember it is just that- HIS work. 
One of the pictures I felt like the Lord gave me as I was praying about doing school of dance about 7 months ago... was that I was driving a car.  As I was driving in front of me I could see Uganda...so I automatically assumed that Uganda was where I was going. But as I zoomed out a bit I saw that Uganda was one of those little hula dancers that people have on their dashboard, and the Lord was in front of the car. and I felt like God reminded me "I am your destination, Uganda is not your destination." 

dancing again :)


So in these next 10 months that is what my aim is: To make God my focus and to let everything else grow strangely dim as I know that HE will be working all things together for good and that I can trust him to continue to be the good Father that He is.  I am very excited and feel very blessed for this season to be able to focus on God through what I love to do.  I have had a passion for dancing for as long as I can remember. And I know that dance is a part of the future that God has for me...but honestly in this time I am not even really worried about how it is going to work out for the future...because I want to focus on Him and Him alone- and trust that He will take care of the rest.  I know that this is a time of "resting" in the Lord so that He can better equip me and raise me up for the work that He has for me in the future.

"I feel a burning desire to preach the Gospel, but I know in my heart that now is the time to pray, to read, to meditate, to be quiet, and to wait…. It makes no sense to preach the Gospel when I have allowed no time for my own conversion. I feel a tension within me. I have only a limited number of years left for active ministry. Why not use them well? Yet one word spoken with a pure heart is worth thousands spoken in a state of spiritual turmoil. Time given to inner renewal is never wasted. God is not in a hurry." --Henry Nouwen