Life with Jesus

In high school, many times a senior class votes for “senior superlatives” Such as; best smile, nicest car, most likely to become president.  Well… my class voted for me and one of my good friends as the “Biggest Klutzes’”.  Now… I will not deny the fact that I am pretty clumsy, obviously my classmates noticed that.  But I couldn’t help but wonder if the fact that I received that “award” was actually because of all of the times that I came to school cut up, with bruises, in a cast, a brace, or some other form of bandage (not to mention with black eyes).  But the thing is… most of the times I didn’t receive these injuries because of some momentary lack of balance.  Most of the time I received these injuries because my friends and I spent most of our time outside of school on street luges’, building zip lines from our houses, jumping on trampolines, mountain biking, hiking up (and running down) mountains, discovering caves, or some other sort of crazy activity.  Perhaps you could say that the vote I received was a bit misleading.  On the outside, people would only see my mistakes…or at least the outcome of my mistakes.  And truthfully, I could have avoided most of these mistakes.  But if I had avoided these injuries completely…it would have been because I had avoided the activities.  And my most treasured memories of high school are the times usually right before I got the most hurt, because those were the moments that I was most stepping out of my comfort zone. 

As I have been reflecting back on this, I have realized that it is very similar to my life with Jesus.  From the outside, many people will only see my failings, or the affect of my failures. And I will be the first to tell you that there have been many mistakes, or even injuries, along the way.  But I can also tell you that each one of those comes with one of my very favorite stories.  Because those are the stories in which I have seen the Lord reveal Himself to me the most.  As I ask Him to continue to move me forward, the thing that I am really asking for is more mistakes.  Because our weakness is not seen in our comfort zone, but it is revealed when we enter new territories and step away from what we have been holding on to.  I would rather give everything that I have for Jesus and get a few scrapes and bruises, then spend my whole life asking “What if I had gone off of that jump? What if I had moved to that country? What if I had said yes to that offer? What if I had tried that?”  Honestly, I fear the “what if’s” more than I fear the failures.  Because at least the failures give the Lord something to work with.  If we sit back in apathy, yes, we probably won’t get hurt, or wounded, or make mistakes, but we will also miss out on some of the most incredible things that the Lord has in store for us.  I have come to realize that when we are living for a God that works ALL things for the good of those that love Him and are called according to His purposes, there is no risk too great to take!  I am learning to be okay with realizing that some people will only see my mistakes…but my only hope is that in that- the Lord may be glorified all the more by what He chooses to do through my weakness!  As I am about to embark on graduate school for the next three years, I have one of those feelings deep in my stomach of thinking “wow… this could REALLY go bad…I could really mess up and fail in so many ways.”  But I realize that in that step, even though it will not always be perfect, I will be able to come out on the other end having grown closer to my Jesus and the plans and purposes He has for my life. And for that… I am really excited, and know it is going to give me some GREAT stories of His goodness!