obedience

            I have often pondered the question "what is worse: disobedience or reluctant obedience?"  This question is similar in motive to the question "how far can I go without going 'too far'". But the problem is that both of these questions focus on the wrong thing-me.  It is asking "how far can I get and still LOOK like I am doing the right thing, even if my heart is in the wrong place?"  Obedience is never about me. It is never about how I look or how I come out on the other end. Obedience is, and should always be, about God. 

            This question has crept back into my mind recently stronger than ever.  The reason being that I want to justify being disobedient. I want to say that if I obey God without "my heart being in it" then it is just as bad as disobeying Him.  Not that either of these solutions is the right one, but justification, even if it is false, always makes the wrong solution seem a little more right. 

            As I was thinking about this the other day God laid the book of Jonah on my heart. I guess you could say I took it as a confirmation when I found my pen in the exact spot of the beginning of the book of Jonah on that same day.  As I read to book I found that Jonah actually did both of these options.  In the beginning of the story he walked in absolute disobedience to God, in fact he tried to run away from God in a boat. And what was the consequence? Well a huge storm came, and Jonah spent three days in the belly of a fish.  In a way maybe you could say that at times God makes disobedience impossible.  So then God gave Jonah a second chance.  He told Jonah to go and proclaim His words to the people of Nineveh for three days, because they had been very wicked in God's eyes.  The author of Jonah describes the first days' journey of Jonah (perhaps the other two days and what he actually did on them could be left up to a bit of interpretation).  But either way what it appears to be in this case is Jonah's reluctant obedience. He did not want to be in Nineveh, and he did not want God to rescue the people of Nineveh.  Interestingly- God had told Jonah to preach against the people in Nineveh, and yet through Jonah's obedience God brought restoration to the people.  The outcome of the situation was not dependent on Jonah. All that was required of Jonah was obedience.  And through Jonah's obedience a whole city was saved. God moved through Jonah's reluctant obedience. 

            Sometimes I take myself to seriously. I like to forget the fact that the outcome of the situation is not dependent on me. I like to overlook the fact that all God asks of me is simple, true, heartfelt obedience.  I also don't particularly like being tried in this obedience.  But it is only in obedience where God can grow us and reveal to us where our hearts are at.  It is easy for me to say that I trust God. it is another thing for me to make a conscious decision to walk in trust when it seems like that is going against everything "good reason" would tell me to do.  I think that C.S. Lewis explained this issue quite well in "A Grief Observed" by stating:

You never know how much you really believe anything until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you. it is easy to say you believe a rope to be strong and sound as long as you are merely using it to cord a box. but suppose you had to hang by that rope over a precipice... Only a real risk tests the reality of a belief. 

            I guess the problem is that there is no way to truly understand the full strength of the rope until you are hanging by it.  And in a way that is what I feel like God has been asking me to do: to simply step off of the solid ground- the ground that has been tested, tried, and found to be strong and secure.  I feel like He is asking me to step off of it right over the precipice with nothing more than the "rope" of trusting in Him.  But I believe that it is over that precipice, and only over that precipice, that we find the only thing that is trustworthy.  C.S. Lewis gives another example of this same idea:

Your bid- for God or no God, for a good God or a Cosmic Sadist, for eternal life or nonentity- will not be serious if nothing much is staked on it.  And you will never discover how serious it was until the stakes are raised horribly high; until you find that you are playing not for the counters or for sixpences but for every penny you have in the world. Nothing less will shake a man-- or at any rate a man like me-- out of his merely verbal thinking and his merely notional beliefs. He has to be knocked silly before he comes to his senses. Only torture will bring out the truth. Only under torture does he discover it himself. 

            The issue once again pointed to God's grace and His teaching.  As Scripture says "The Lord disciplines those he loves" (Proverbs 3:12).  So again Lewis' goes on to talk about why God does this "shaking" or "testing" or "disciplining" or "hanging":

God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn't... He always knew that my temple was a house of cards. His only way of making me realize the fact was to knock it down. 

            God does all of this for our good. As Romans says "In all things God works for the good of those that love Him, who have been called according to His purposes".  And even much greater than our good- obedience is ultimately for His glory.   

And so what is left to do but to be obedient?

Life with Jesus

In high school, many times a senior class votes for “senior superlatives” Such as; best smile, nicest car, most likely to become president.  Well… my class voted for me and one of my good friends as the “Biggest Klutzes’”.  Now… I will not deny the fact that I am pretty clumsy, obviously my classmates noticed that.  But I couldn’t help but wonder if the fact that I received that “award” was actually because of all of the times that I came to school cut up, with bruises, in a cast, a brace, or some other form of bandage (not to mention with black eyes).  But the thing is… most of the times I didn’t receive these injuries because of some momentary lack of balance.  Most of the time I received these injuries because my friends and I spent most of our time outside of school on street luges’, building zip lines from our houses, jumping on trampolines, mountain biking, hiking up (and running down) mountains, discovering caves, or some other sort of crazy activity.  Perhaps you could say that the vote I received was a bit misleading.  On the outside, people would only see my mistakes…or at least the outcome of my mistakes.  And truthfully, I could have avoided most of these mistakes.  But if I had avoided these injuries completely…it would have been because I had avoided the activities.  And my most treasured memories of high school are the times usually right before I got the most hurt, because those were the moments that I was most stepping out of my comfort zone. 

As I have been reflecting back on this, I have realized that it is very similar to my life with Jesus.  From the outside, many people will only see my failings, or the affect of my failures. And I will be the first to tell you that there have been many mistakes, or even injuries, along the way.  But I can also tell you that each one of those comes with one of my very favorite stories.  Because those are the stories in which I have seen the Lord reveal Himself to me the most.  As I ask Him to continue to move me forward, the thing that I am really asking for is more mistakes.  Because our weakness is not seen in our comfort zone, but it is revealed when we enter new territories and step away from what we have been holding on to.  I would rather give everything that I have for Jesus and get a few scrapes and bruises, then spend my whole life asking “What if I had gone off of that jump? What if I had moved to that country? What if I had said yes to that offer? What if I had tried that?”  Honestly, I fear the “what if’s” more than I fear the failures.  Because at least the failures give the Lord something to work with.  If we sit back in apathy, yes, we probably won’t get hurt, or wounded, or make mistakes, but we will also miss out on some of the most incredible things that the Lord has in store for us.  I have come to realize that when we are living for a God that works ALL things for the good of those that love Him and are called according to His purposes, there is no risk too great to take!  I am learning to be okay with realizing that some people will only see my mistakes…but my only hope is that in that- the Lord may be glorified all the more by what He chooses to do through my weakness!  As I am about to embark on graduate school for the next three years, I have one of those feelings deep in my stomach of thinking “wow… this could REALLY go bad…I could really mess up and fail in so many ways.”  But I realize that in that step, even though it will not always be perfect, I will be able to come out on the other end having grown closer to my Jesus and the plans and purposes He has for my life. And for that… I am really excited, and know it is going to give me some GREAT stories of His goodness! 

God is God, all over the world.

the team :)

How do I sum up five weeks of getting to see God move and answer even my smallest prayers?  I feel like I could have written a blog EVERY day in London... if I had the time :) But as I sit and think back on what God has done in this time, I am so amazed! 

Honestly, it was hard for me at first to hear that we were going to London.  My heart is in jungles and villages, among people who have never seen a white person, or heard the name of Jesus... but a city??  How could I see God move in a place that has had the Gospel for so long?  What could I bring them that they haven't already heard? 
Thankfully, I was humbly reminded in London that once again, it is never about me!  But when God calls us to do something, He prepares the way. 

dancing with Project Dance

Dance: I had learned so much about how it could be used in ministry during my six months in Montana, but I actually got to apply it and see it with my own eyes in England!  Our team partnered with an organization, Project Dance, where we were able to do our dances in an outside stadium right next to the Tower Bridge in London.  Throughout the day hundreds of people stopped to watch our dances and listen to messages about hope and the meaning of life.  We also partnered with all the churches in the area where we were staying to put on a festival.  It was a two week event where we had facepainting, music bands, a place to watch to olympics, and our dances.  The most suprising thing to see was when people, even men in the audience would cry during our dances.  Afterwards they told us they didn't know what was happening, they just felt something stirring in their hearts.  We were able to share with them that that was Jesus and He can speak through the arts.  We also got to perform in different churches around the city and share how they can use the passions and the talents that God has given them to reach their community, and share how much it is needed!

Pastor Edwin from the Kenyan church :)

Africa:  The hardest thing for me was knowing that if I went to London, I would not have an opportunity to go to Uganda this year.  I asked God in my heart as we were on the train into London, "God, could I just meet one Ugandan while we are here?"  Well, God is amazing like that! I got to meet not only one... but multiple Ugandans!  I actually met Ugandans in almost every place we went!  Not to mention the fact that we lived in a Kenyan church during our whole time in London.  I was so blessed to get to build connections with people that have moved to London, and will be returning to Uganda and Kenya in the future.  The choreography of heaven never ceases to amaze me! And it was just a blessing to try to speak Acholi with people for a while :)

because taking a picture of telling someone
about Jesus would be awkward...
this is Buckingham Palace.

Evangelism:  Honestly, as an American, doing "hut to hut" evangelism in a relationship-focused culture is a lot easier for me than trying to stop and talk to a person in a western culture about Jesus.  I think one of the things that makes it hard our ideaology that people can "have it all together" and maybe they don't "need" Jesus.  I think in the west sometimes we have this mentality of "we can only tell people about Jesus after we do charity work."  Don't get me wrong, the idea of digging wells and helping build schools is amazing!  But I think I need to remember that Jesus cares for so much more than just the physical needs of people.  He cares about their souls.  I was able to see this in London.  Even with the people that "had it all together" there was something missing if they didn't know Jesus.  Lisa said it so well when she said "people just need to be heard"  And as a short-term mission team... we can't always hear people out after we leave, but we can point them to the One who will always listen and will never leave them or forsake them.  It was so great to be able to tell people "you know, you can talk to Jesus any time you need to!" And for many of them this was something they had never heard! They thought that talking to Jesus was reserved to the people who go to church on Sundays and don't drink at night.  But the beautiful thing is that Jesus wants to meet us right where we are.  Whether that is in a mud hut in Africa, or in an office building in London.  Jesus came that they ALL may have life, and have it in abundance!  I think this was such a good lesson for me to learn, knowing that I will be in the states for the next few years.  Mission exists because the worship doesn't...and there are people all over the world that don't know what a life of worship is.  I am just thankful that God is teaching me that lesson now!  Whether it be in our own home town or country, or in a jungle somewhere... our calling is to Jesus and to making Him known.  THAT is what a life in abudance looks likes!

I'm Graduating!!!! Well...sort of...

Proverbs 16:9

“In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps”

This month, most of the students that I graduated high school with will be finishing up college.  Four years ago I felt like I was making a “sacrifice” and “giving up my life” to follow God to missions instead of going to college.  What I have found since making that decision is the life that I would have never been able to imagine.  God has been nothing but faithful and mind-blowing each and every day.  I never would have thought that in the time span of four years, God would have used me to create a ministry in Uganda, and be able to lead multiple missions’ teams to Africa.  We just sent out our fourth team of missionaries to spend the summer in Uganda working with Soldiers of Christ!  It never ceases to amaze me. 

well... it looks like this is my home for the next three years :)

In these past four years, the last thing that was on my mind was college.  So when I felt like I was supposed to apply for graduate school in January, it was a shock to me, especially since I don’t have an undergraduate degree. But God doesn’t work in the way the world does, and somehow… I was accepted to graduate school!


I don't think this is gonna be too bad...

I will be moving to Seattle in August to attend The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology.  In three years I will receive a Master of Counseling Psychology.  The school has accepted me as a “life experience equivalent” to a bachelor’s degree.  I didn’t even really know that someone could do that, but then again, God is full of surprises! 

Since I was fourteen, Uganda has been on my heart.  And I still believe that God plans for me there, but I believe that at the moment He is taking me through a season of preparation and diligence before I am ready to settle in Gulu.

 I will still be the co-overseer of Soldiers of Christ with Jimmy in these next three years.  Things are just going to look a bit different than I thought they would.  Our intention as a ministry has always been to do counseling and rehabilitation with our kids in Uganda, so I am excited for this step of learning how to better give the students what they need.  Thank you for continuing to stand with me in this journey!

"I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" -Mark 9:24b

What does it mean to trust in God?  What does it mean to have no “plan b”?  What does it mean to truly live a life that doesn’t make sense without Him?  These are all things that I have been wrestling with lately.  Last year God called me to apply to School of Dance in Montana.  And from the very first day I was here I have seen the reason why He called me here.  This week a second Discipleship Training School started here in Montana, and they will be sending their team to work with Soldiers of Christ in June and July!  I have built relationships with girls that have challenged me and grown me the loving way that God knew I needed for this season.  I have revived the passion for worshiping God through my dancing, and I have already seen Him move through it in incredible ways.  I get to go spread His Word at the Olympics, which I had prayed about in Uganda before I even came to Montana.  It is clear that God has brought me to Montana for this season.  So why do I still doubt Him?  Why do I still struggle deep down with believing that He is going to come through for me?  This week we have just over $3,000 due for our school fees and outreach costs.  I have $500 in my bank account.  And what does God say every time I go to Him in prayer and in frustration? “Trust in me.”  I thought I had come to a place where I was able to say, “Okay, Lord. I trust in you and I know you are going to provide all I need for school.”  But the assurance I thought I had was shaken yesterday when I found out that I owe $1,800 on taxes.  Not knowing where the money for my school fees was going to come from was one thing, and now believing God for close to an extra two grand…I really see what little faith I have.  The thing that really bothers me is not that I may “not be able to finish school.”  The thing that bothers me is my lack of trust in God.  Let’s face it.  I live in America.  I know a number of people that if I REALLY asked them for the money would be able to donate to my cause.  Yet God has not called me to trust in people, He has asked me to trust in Him.  He has asked me to invite people in to the calling He has placed on my life, but when it all comes down to it- He is the one in control of my finances.  I want to have faith in Him so much that I know, if I don’t get all of the money for my school fees, it means He has other plans for me.  He called me to Montana. I came.  If He has already achieved the purpose He has for me here… then I am okay to move on to what He has for me next.  Because I would rather have faith in Him, even if it looks like I “failed” in the eyes of the world...or the eyes of myself, than to complete the school by getting money through means God did not ask of me.  What I need is not money.  What I need is strength to trust in God.  I need boldness to be obedient to Him, whatever that looks like.  I think THAT is what it means to trust in God. But I'm still learning...

Let them praise Him with dancing!

All the wonderful School of Dance ladies

Ballet class :)

2 Timothy 3:16 tells us that “All Scripture is God breathed and is important…”  That being said, there is not one word in the Bible that is there by accident, or that is not of value.  We recently did a project in our school to find all the original words for “dance” in their Hebrew and Greek forms in the Bible.  The word “dance” or a form of it is used at least twenty-seven times in the Bible.  It seems to me that God found the word and the action of dance important to include, not only once or twice…but at least twenty-seven times!  I think that sometimes the church can forget about the power of dance and the freedom that it can bring.  In the Bible we see both the negative and positive powers of dancing.  We see that as God was leading His people out of four hundred years of slavery in Egypt, the most accurate response they could have was to dance for joy.  And we know that the famous King David had no other way to worship the Lord fully but through reckless abandonment in his dancing.  We also see the negative things that dance can be used for, such as the persuasion of Herod to put John the Baptist to death through a dance of seduction and temptation.  But whether it is used for good or evil, there is no question that dance has power.  This is why it is so important for the church to stand up and use the gift of dance that the Lord has given for His kingdom and His glory.  In these last two months I have already seen the Lord do so much healing in my own life, as well as give me hope for the healing that He is going to bring to the nations through dance.  I have the privilege of dancing with seven beautiful girls from all walks of life.  We have all seen our share of joy and sorrow in life, but one thing remains true for all of us- we have all seen God minister in and through us by the gift of dance.  God has restored my love and joy for dancing, and I have been able to have such an incredible time enjoying His presence.  Dance is probably the strongest way that I can connect and speak to God.  When I have no more words to express what I am going through, I know that I can simply pour out my heart to Him through the motions and movements that He has given me.  Dance is this joy and strength that I desire to take back to the nations.  Our school has an amazing opportunity to go to London and Scotland this summer.  We will be using dance as a way to connect with people that do not know the Lord.  We are going to use this art to speak directly to people’s hearts about the love that God has for them in a way that words cannot always do.  Dance breaks down walls and can penetrate into lives in such a strong force, and I can’t wait to see how God is going to use it this summer, as well as in the rest of my life! 

apparently dancers kick pinatas...

For such a time as this!

If you had asked me three years ago if I would be here in Montana doing School of Dance right now, I would have said no.  If you had asked me two years ago, I would have told you I was probably going to do it last year. And if you had asked me last year, I would have said “possibly…” with a doubtful hope. Yet it is amazing to me how God knows just the perfect time and place that He wants us.  I had thought I was going to do School of Dance last year, but God told me it wasn’t the right time. So I stayed home, and because of that I was blessed to be in Uganda for 6 months with two teams last year. And I saw even more of His plan for calling me to Montana for “such a time as this” as soon as I arrived.  It was my first full day here and I was talking to a very dear girl, Kelly, who is on staff with YWAM Montana.  She had been staff here back when I was doing my Discipleship Training School (DTS) and I have always admired her! She is staffing this current DTS and told me that she is leading an outreach team but their outreach location had fallen through because there were more students than they expected and the location could not cater for all of them.  So I just threw out in the conversation “well just go to Gulu!!”  Then that led into a longer conversation about what God is doing in Uganda, and a few days of prayer, and… to make a long story short, she is now taking the DTS to Uganda to work with Soldiers of Christ for two months!!  It was such an answer to prayer! We had been praying for another team to be able to come to Gulu and serve and help out while I am away and the staff in Gulu is furthering their training… and only God could have orchestrated it in such a way! If I had come last year, we wouldn’t have had such an answer to prayer, and the DTS wouldn’t have had an outreach location! 

            Besides that beautiful treat (which would have been enough in itself!) Montana has just been such a gift from the Lord!  I never could have expected that I would have an opportunity to dance this much again, and with such incredible people, and for the Lord!  He is showing me more and more every day about what it means to focus on Him and utilize the giftings and abilities he has given me.  It does make me laugh that the main correction I get in dance class is that my moves look “too African”… I guess that is just a what happens when you live in Africa for two years J haha and although it may not be exactly what my teachers are looking for… hopefully it’ll give me some advantage in the future for our training with the students in Gulu!  Although going from the 85 degree weather in Uganda to the two feet of snow we have gotten in the last three days has been an adjustment… I wouldn’t change being here for the world! It has been such a great reminder that Uganda (and my life) is in GOD’S hands, and HE is the one orchestrating everything.  And it has been such a wonderful time to get to spend with my Daddy!  As it is said “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him” I am learning what it means to be content in ALL situations and know that my value is in my identity…and not my performance. God is so good!!



Montana is cold!!... but beautiful!

faith is doing something that doesn't make sense... unless there is a God!



our students dancing in Gulu



A lot of times when I think of "men and women of faith" I think of those that sold everything they owned and moved across the world after kissing their family goodbye, unsure if they would ever see them again.  And there have been a few times now when I have said goodbye to my family and ventured into the unknown of Africa... but this year I feel like the biggest step of faith that God is asking me to do is to stay in my own country for most of the year!  I have been desiring to do School of Dance Studies (SODS)since I did my first school with YWAM back in 2008... and by the time that I had finally laid it down when it seemed like that wasn't going to happen at the beginning of this year...that was the time the Lord spoke to me and said "okay, next year is the year that you are supposed to do it."  And honestly...I feel that out of the last 3 years...this is the worst possible time to do SODS.  I got to see God move and do so much in Uganda this year, and so much of me wants to be a part of what He is going to continue to do there in this next year.  But over and over the Lord just keeps confirming to me that He wants me to do SODS this next year.

So here it goes! I am holding my breath and taking a step of faith. I am trying to commit Uganda and SOC into the hands of God for these next 9 months as I go to Montana for further training and then I go on outreach.  Afterall...I know that it is nothing that I do in Uganda that makes any difference, but it is the Lord that is moving and working, and He has blessed me with the privelage to be able to partner with Him in His work there for the last 3 years. And this is year that I need to remember it is just that- HIS work. 

One of the pictures I felt like the Lord gave me as I was praying about doing school of dance about 7 months ago... was that I was driving a car.  As I was driving in front of me I could see Uganda...so I automatically assumed that Uganda was where I was going. But as I zoomed out a bit I saw that Uganda was one of those little hula dancers that people have on their dashboard, and the Lord was in front of the car. and I felt like God reminded me "I am your destination, Uganda is not your destination." 



dancing again :)



So in these next 10 months that is what my aim is: To make God my focus and to let everything else grow strangely dim as I know that HE will be working all things together for good and that I can trust him to continue to be the good Father that He is.  I am very excited and feel very blessed for this season to be able to focus on God through what I love to do.  I have had a passion for dancing for as long as I can remember. And I know that dance is a part of the future that God has for me...but honestly in this time I am not even really worried about how it is going to work out for the future...because I want to focus on Him and Him alone- and trust that He will take care of the rest.  I know that this is a time of "resting" in the Lord so that He can better equip me and raise me up for the work that He has for me in the future.

"I feel a burning desire to preach the Gospel, but I know in my heart that now is the time to pray, to read, to meditate, to be quiet, and to wait…. It makes no sense to preach the Gospel when I have allowed no time for my own conversion. I feel a tension within me. I have only a limited number of years left for active ministry. Why not use them well? Yet one word spoken with a pure heart is worth thousands spoken in a state of spiritual turmoil. Time given to inner renewal is never wasted. God is not in a hurry." --Henry Nouwen

it all started with an email...

sometimes I think about my life and I just have to laugh when I look at where God has taken me from, and the places that He has brought me to.  These last couple months have been no exception to that...

 Titus project is a 3rd level school in the University of Nations where students that have completed a 9 month School of Biblical Studies learn how to practically train and teach what they have learned in their school.   I was in Colorado Springs talking to some of the students in the School of Biblical Studies(SBS) at the begining of the year about how they were interested in Titus but didn't know where to do it. So I emailed Jaco- a man from my SBS and asked him about what he thought of us running a Titus in Uganda, since he was living here with his family and I was going to be here- it just seemed right.  and of course- God lined everything up perfectly.



after about 3 hours on the road side in a "game park."



So in the begining of October we started the first Titus project in Uganda and were able to train 8 students how to teach the Bible to believers and church leaders in rural parts of Africa.  then about 3 weeks ago we set out for outreach. and what a great time it has been!!

The first week of outreach my team set out for Pader, in Northern Uganda.  as always we had an adventure on the way as our bus broke down 3 times along the way to Gulu, including one time when we had to wait almost 4 hours on the side of the road in the middle of Africa until another bus that was completely full picked us up so we crammed in double the amount that it was supposed to carry.  I road the rest of the 3 hours sitting on the hand rail of the steps coming into the bus... haha. it's always an adventure!

But we were so blessed when we arrived in Pader to be hosted by a pastor names JJ.  Getting to know JJ and his congregation was one of the most humbling experiences of  my life. About 20 people from his congregation wake up every morning at 3 to go meet in the church to pray and intercede for the church, the nation, and the world.  It was such dedication and hunger for the Lord like I have never seen before.  We were able to teach them the Inductive Bible Study Method and the Bible overview (a teaching of Genesis-Revelation in 9 easy to remember steps)  and they were so grateful for the teaching. they said they had been praying about having teachings like this come to Pader, and we were so blessed to be able to a part of what God is doing there! We also got to share in a womens group started by an incredible lady named Margaret. She is from Northern Uganda and employes women and teaches them how to make shea butter and sesame seeds.  On Sunday I got to go with one of the students to "Pader girls academy"  it is a school designed for girls that concieved children through the "lords resistance army" and so the school has a daycare for the children as their mothers are in class... seing as how most of the "mothers" are still children themselves being about 15 and 16 years old. 

our team with Pr. JJ on the right!

most Titus leaders probably don't make their
students do traditional dances on outreach.
I am not most Titus leaders.

After a great week we got to come to my favorite place in Uganda, if not the world- Gulu!  We had planned to go to Lira for the second week...but the Lord had other plans for us. and it was such a blessing!  We were reminded (from a word of the Lord through Jaco) of the great commision in Matthew- that we were to go and make disciples of all nations.  and I questioned just which disciples the Lord had wanted us to make...and as we prayed as a team the Lord spoke to us about following up with the foundation that our Discipleship Training School team had left a few months ago.  So we decided it was a good time to take a step deeper with some of the boys in the ministry.  So the first week in Gulu we had a Bible study and fellowship with the high school boys living in the ministry house at night... and after seeing just how hungry they are for truth...we decided to continue it for the next two weeks we are here!  We've had a question box and are answering there questions and having discussions with them each night about the Word (please pray for wisdom as they ask GREAT questions!)  We've also had the Titus team sharing Bible teachings in Gulu Hope- our vocational school, and they've been doing a seminar in the mornings with members from the church, as well as another seminar at a local church here in Gulu in the afternoons. 

It has been such an incredible time, and such an encouragement to see the hunger for the Word that people have here...as well as their ability and dedication to learn the method.  The Lord keeps reminding us of how "fertile the soil" is here in Northern Uganda...and how he wants to bring healing and redemption through His word.  Please pray for us as we are here for another week and a half- that we can be obedient to what God wants us to do here, and that God will continue to bring revelation and understanding through His word.  And please pray for the seminars that we are arranging for the next few weeks in Gulu and in Kampala!

Taylor doing Bible overview withe the boys (and girls) at home!

Thank you all so much for your prayers and support!!!

Mathew 19:29

"And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life." 



My brothers, David and Francis... I'm sure one of them said
SOMETHING that made my face like that... haha

 This verse never comes to mind more then when I am in Uganda.  Everywhere I go here I have a mother, brother, father, sisters, and home.  I get encouraged, rebuked, directed, and loved in more ways then I could have ever dreamed of when I am away from home.  It doesn't mean that I never miss my family and friends... but it just means that the Lord is so gracious to me and knows exactly what I need.  I am so blessed and privilaged to get to do life with these amazing people here.  And just to share some of them...let me tell you about Collines...

Collines and I met in Colorado Springs when she was touring there with Invisible Children.  I went up to her after she shared her story of growing up in Northern Uganda and told her that I work in Gulu.  We shared a great conversation and I tested my little knowledge of "Acholi language" on her, and I told her about what Soldiers of Christ does.  She asked me if it would be something that she could come and help out with, and I told her that would be wonderful! We also joked about me being able to go back to her village to meet her mother and the other people there.  I had no idea how much this simple conversation would change my life. 



Tom, Maggie and I with the students from Colline's primary school



A month after this talk, Collines was here in Gulu working full-time with Soldiers of Christ! She did wonders as the program director with the children's events and setting up things for our team to do.  But more than that...she became one of my dearest sisters.  I am so blessed by the season that I shared with her and the wisdom and advice I could glean from her over and over again.  We even ended up taking a weekend trip to go see her mom in her village!  We shared with her old primary school and the secondary school in her village, and I even got to preach at her church of 150 people on Sunday morning!!

Collines has just left us this week to go back to America with Invisible Children in order to share what is happening in Northern Uganda and Congo, and what God is doing in this area of the world!! I am so proud of her and can't wait to see how God uses her in these next few months... but I am even more excited for her to be able to re-join us in December at Soldiers of Christ!!



Innocent, another sister of mine :)



Uganda... Take 3.

i tie ma ber?  (how are you??) 

nursery students... the sign says "Jenny Sweet to have you home" love!

Greetings from Uganda, Everyone!! Time has flown by in these past two and a half weeks!  It is such a blessing to have a team with me in Gulu for the first time!! They have done such a wonderful job working with the ministry and the community, and really being an encouragement for what I see God doing here :)



the kids getting ready to perform :)



It has been so incredible to be back with my kids and my family here in Gulu.  We were officially welcomed to the ministry with singing and dancing from all the mama's, and all of the kids, and signs from the nursery students.  It was such a beautiful moment! I was so proud of them all... a couple of the students shared speeches about what Soldiers of Christ means to them and to the community.  It was such a living testimony of what God is doing in His community right here in Northern Uganda! 

Our team has already learned the value of "rolling with the punches"  We spent about three full days plastering the outside of our nursery school in preperation for painting it to make it look nice for the preschoolers...but to my shock and dismay...as soon as we were nearly complete our neighbor came to tell us that the building had been build partially on his property, and he wanted to put in a water line...which means he wants us to tear down the building.  It was a valuable lesson learned that zeal without wisdom is fruitless...and we need to seek the Lord in every decision we arae making.  I found out later that a few of our workers were having hesitations about plastering... and I realized just how important it is to listen to that still small voice.  But we are still seeking the Lord and know that He works for good in all things for those that love Him and are called according to His purposes.  So I can't wait to see how He is going to use this mistake of ours for His glory...and the benifit of His ministry!

Dispite this bit of disapointment...  the ministry is moving on well!  We have prayed and decided that this next year is going to be really focused on staff training and team building, even before any expansion.  We have been talking with the national leadership team of YWAM Uganda to officially become a "YWAM ministry" and are walking through that process! We have been blessed to have Evan and Britny share with us that they are feeling called to work with Soldiers of Christ long term!! the last few days have been busy putting together profiles for the children we will sponsor in this next year, so that- God willing, we will be able to have individual sponsors for each student to be able to encourage them and walk with them through school and through life! I am so excited about this next step and what God is going to do through it as He continues to bring the body of Christ together from all over the world!



me and our pastor's wife after church



Our team has felt that one of their main roles in this time was to be a tool of intercession for the ministry...and that has been what they have been doing!  We have been doing prayer walks around the ministry and around the community, asking God for what His original design and intent for Northern Uganda and the Acholi people was.  We were so encouraged when God confirmed through our team that He has placed everything in Uganda that it needs to provide for all of Africa- Physically and Spiritually.  It made me so excited to see how God is going to do this and allow Uganda to rise up as a leader for the rest of this continent.  Right now in a time when so many eyes are on Uganda...it is the perfect time for God to show His sovereignty and provision for this nation...and this world! 

It has been such a blessing to see our team love this community and this ministry with all of their hearts.  They have really opened up their arms...and our doors to anyone that comes by!  everyday we have anywhere from 5 to 50 kids playing in our front yard...and we love to play frisbee and soccer and football with them.  They told us the other day that they want to have a Bible study, so we are excited for this opportunity and looking at how we can make it work to be faithful with what God has provided! We have had so many divine connections like this! Tyler is actually in Kampala right now because he has been asked to join the Gulu semi pro basketball team...and is in a tournament with them now!  SUCH a great opportunity for ministry!! This weekend we are going to be doing a "carnival" with our neighborhood kids and the students in the ministry...with games, painting, sports, and lots of fun!! We really are looking forward to an opportunity to show them love and to allow them to be kids :)

please pray for God's direction on the land and the building structures as we are looking at other plots of land that are suitable for expansion.  and that God would really lay the foundation for all that we do so that we are not laboring in vain!

And please pray for continued open hearts and inspiration on how to love the people God is bringing into our lives. 

As well as continued health for our team :)

We love you all so much!! God bless!!



oh... and I slaughtered a chicken.



For such a time as this...

"Why should a sinner be saved?"


Gulu responding to the Gospel :)


This is an age old question that I have heard discussed, and that I have pondered myself.  There are two sides to the argument-  1. God deserves the worship that he has refused to give him. 2. The sinner has value and needs to be saved.  I feel like people have felt the need to hang on to one side of the pendulum... And I honestly feel like they aren't mutually exclusive.  If a sinner is only saved simply to "fulfill a requirement", then it leaves out the part of God's heart that desires to see His children walk in Life, and Life in abundance.  God has created us to be in relationship with Him, because He loves us, not because he "needs" us.  But if we only look at the sinner and we get stuck in "deeds" then we lose sight of the One that we are actually trying to reach them with, and we will get burned out, dissapointed, and let down.  So what if the answer was so much easier than we made it.  What if a sinner is meant to be saved simply because God has commanded us to go to the ends of the earth and make disciples of all nations.  God knows the reason, He knows the purpose, and He knows the goal.  When God asks, who are we to think that we can "reason" why He is asking us to go?  When we try to reason, most of the time, if it is not done in the fear of the Lord, it steals the glory away from the Lord in simple obedience.  The times in my life I have seen God come through in the biggest ways, and the times I have been so blessed by His provision and guidance are the times I followed Him in blind faith.  Yet I always seem to forget that fact and think that I have to "figure everything out" before I actually step into doing it.  But this time I choose to say no to my pride and ignorance.



My team coming to Uganda with me!

 This time I choose to walk in obedience to God, even if I don't understand His reasoning.  All I know is all I need to know, and all I know is right in front of me.  I know that God has called me to Uganda for such a time as this.  And this time I want to go focusing on the Lord... but I also want to go with a focus on His people.  That is why I believe the greatest command that Jesus gave was two- fold; He told us to love God and to love our neighbor.  Sometimes I think we have a misunderstanding in thinking that compassion is "humanism"  But I am challenged to think different. I am challenged to see the Lord through my personal times with Him, as well as to see Him through the people that He has created in His image to worship Him and to spend eternity with him.  And I am so encouraged and blessed by the people that are walking by my side to see this happen :) God has called us to Uganda for such a time as this, and we may never know all that He is up to...but one thing we can say is that we have responded "send us, we'll go."  Please pray for our team and all of our workers at Soldiers of Christ in Northern Uganda this summer! Pray that we can walk in the obedience and the love of the Lord and in His strength and bring his joy to the people of Gulu, Uganda!

Counting the Cost...

 Next weekend will be my 21^st birthday.  This has caused me to do some reflecting of my life.  I have friends my age that; are about to graduate college, have recently gotten married, have bought houses, and some even had children!  I have been so excited to see where life is taking them, but I couldn’t help but stop and think that my life doesn’t look anything like what it “should” look like for a typical girl in her 20’s.  I don’t have a pretty wedding ring to show others, I don’t have dirty diapers and teething babies to talk about, I don’t have a college diploma, I have less than $100 dollars in my checking account, and I don’t have as  much time as my family as some would say is appropriate.  As I thought about this, I started to ask God, is it worth it? Is this life you called me to worth the sympathetic eyes and confused stares as I confess; “I haven’t started college yet”, “the money comes from God”, or “I am not too worried about a relationship or marriage at the moment”?

A good friend recently sent me an e-mail after they were praying.  They felt that the Lord had given them the verse of Romans 12:2 for me, which states, “Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, His good, pleasing, and perfect will.”  I have never really thought of myself as ‘worldly’.  Homeschooled missionaries seem more few and far between than you would think.  But I had the first part of this passage memorized, I always knew it was a good thing to be in the world but not of it…but I never realized that there was more to this verse, the very important word of “that”. In our Bible school we could call this word a ‘connective’ meaning that it was connecting the beginning of the sentence to the rest of it, also showing that the first part of the sentence is incomplete.  So why are we to not conform to the world, and be transformed by the renewal of our mind?

            THAT by testing we may be able to discern what the will of God is, what is good and pleasing and perfect!! I don’t know about you…but I would LOVE to know what is perfect! What is something tangible that I can hold on to and trust that will not crumble beneath me, what is something that will satisfy the depths of my heart and soul.  In Mathew 18:14, after Jesus has talked about the Shepherd that would leave his 99 sheep to find the one that went missing, He says, “In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost.” Jesus said after He had called a little child to stand among the disciples, He was explaining God’s heart for the ‘little ones’ that had for so long been devalued and under-appreciated in their society. And THAT is what I believe the will of God is- that the knowledge of the glory of the Lord would cover the earth as water covers the sea.  It is the presence and the knowledge of our Heavenly Father that is good, pleasing, and perfect.

            The truth is- no matter what situations we are faced with in life…there is one thing that is always constant, and that is the Lord.  He will never leave you or forsake you.  And I believe the “little ones” that He has called me to, that He has entrusted to me are; the children of Northern Uganda, the children that have all been affected by over 20 years of rebel war and destruction in their home land, the children that don’t know what stability or security even means, the children that don’t know what a healthy and whole family looks like, the children that are crying out “Abba, Father” waiting for someone to tell them that EVERYTHING they desire about someone having love and compassion for them are TRUE! They are waiting for someone to tell them that no matter what they have done, or been forced to do, their heavenly Father loves them more than they could ever learn, and each day He wants to walk with them in a journey deeper and deeper into His love.  They NEED to know that someone has been with them in each of these situations; that He has wept with them, that He has laughed with them, that He has seen the depth of their hearts cry and He is yearning to reveal himself to them, that not one of them would perish without knowing what His will is for them, His good and pleasing and perfect will!

            So what was the answer that I got? Of COURSE it is worth it.  It is not only worth it, it is a privilege for me to be able to give my life so that these children will know what life really is!  I am willing to give up the “American dream” and the “typical life”. I have been ruined for the ordinary and I never want to go back- no matter what the cost is. I am so blessed by where I am in life at the moment, and I pray the God will continue to direct my steps everyday for what HE has for me and not what I have by myself. I don’t want to build a house of glass. I don’t want to build a house at all… I want my life to be a journey with the Lord in whatever place and capacity He will take me to! And I am so thankful for the opportunity to be able to do so! So now the question comes to you… now that you know it is worth it. Are you willing?

Moving Forward :)

Jeff and I in San Diego

Oftentimes I sit around thinking, "I need to update my blog..." but I feel like SO much is happening that I never know where to even start! So here is my attempt (and probably fail) to wrap up the end of last year and the beginning of this year :)

               The year ended and then a new one began with visitors and trips galore.  The whole family was together again for Christmas, and we even had an addition this year when my friend Vernel from South Africa was able to join us for the holiday!  It was a great time...and I hope the Wagner family didn't overwhelm him too much ;)  We also had all of our Wagner cousins from Portland, Oregon come down for a visit... and they took me with them back to Oregon for about a week and a half! It was such a great time to be with my dear cousins that I hadn't seen in TOO long! I was back for one full day before my parents, Jeff, and I took off for San Diego, California for an extended weekend. I was able to see one of my dear friends from my school in Montana, Amanda Walhof :) it was SO good to catch up with her and get to meet the man in her life!  It had been two years since I had seen her!! We has such a great trip! and I don't think my parents minded too much that Jeff and I decided to crash their romantic getaway at the last minute...


(some of the) Wagner girls in Portland!



               Time away and spent with family was exactly what I needed to be able to rest and re-focus on this year and how exactly it would all work out.  After an incredible retreat with God in the mountains at the end of last year, I felt that He really gave me direction on where He would have me go... but because I always like to ask questions,  I wondered, "But how do I get there??"  and of course, God has been taking care of everything and allowing me to come along with the incredible plan and future that He has for the nation of Uganda :) 

               So as of now, I am officially on staff with Colorado Springs YWAM.  The base here has partnered together to start a business of these little solar-powered lights, about the size of a Nalgene bottle that burn four times (or more) brighter than the little kerosene lanterns that the 600 million people in the world without electricity have in their homes (that is if they are able to afford the quickly burning and toxic kerosene that many of them use).  So our goal with these lights is to provide a more cost-effective and safe way for these people to be able to live their lives a little bit later than seven o'clock when the sun goes down.  We will be doing campaigns in colleges and churches focusing on raising lights for Uganda, India, Swaziland, and many other countries that are in need of these.  In the time that I am home, I will be helping with these campaigns and really trying to push raising the lights for our village in Uganda, we'll even get to set up tables to sell the beads that our wonderful women in Uganda are making; then in April I will start teaching in the preschool at YWAM in order to work with the children, and also familiarize myself with the curriculum that I will then be able to take back to Uganda in July to train to our Nursery School teachers so that they can in turn teach it to our children in Uganda!

               Clearly once again, God has already thought of everything that I need...and has proven that He is far more than able to provide anything we've asked or even hoped for!  And even through all of this, He is teaching me a huge lesson about trust.  I recently turned down my old job at Scott's Miracle Grow, when I felt that the Lord was calling me to pursue what He had for me long term... and not just a quick fix to my question on where money was going to come from.  So I took a leap (or a small slide off the ledge) of faith, and I am really excited to see how the Lord will continue to show Himself faithful in the area of my finances.  Surprisingly... trips back and forth to Uganda, as well as basic living expenses... cost money.  And I think this will be the first time in my life I can honestly say that I have given these areas to the Lord in obedience to what he is asking me to do... even though everything in my own earthly mind is telling me it is crazy, I have come to realize that the God I know really likes to have people do crazy things in order to show Himself worthy and faithful. 

Peace teaching at Dancing Soldiers of Christ

               As far as Soldiers of Christ in Uganda, incredible things are happening there!  My friend from Colorado Springs, DJ, will be heading out tomorrow to go to the grounds in Gulu and help out with the ministry for five weeks, laying bricks, doing Bible teachings, and of course...loving on the children!  The team in Uganda is hard at work laying bricks for our THIRD brick building!! We will be able to have our Soldiers of Christ school running before we know it :) And we just had a dear friend, Peace, come over from another part of Uganda for a week to help train our kids in their singing and dancing skills!  Peace has just recently released a music CD in Uganda, so it was such a blessing and an honor to have her come over and lend a hand, using some of her expertise (I even got word that the men were having her help make bricks during the day when the children were in school!)  Way to go, Peace!!  And also in the beginning of March, we will be welcoming a DTS team to help out on the grounds for a few weeks!!  We LOVE the body of Christ all coming together!! And we are always up to have new visitors ;)


we have AWESOME helpers :)